My brain says no but my pants say off.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
