she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
