she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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