pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
