you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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