Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
