She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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