last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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