Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So vagazzling was a success
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Help. Why am I so naked?
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