I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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