Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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