my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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