Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
