I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
