Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
