Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm just crazy horny about you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
