Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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