I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
