Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
