it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
