Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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