So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Randomize
