Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
