Yo dont text me then not text me
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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