i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize