He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
