shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
