Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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