then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
