I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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