But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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