"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
