Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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