he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can't talk, ducks in the car
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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