ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
