You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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