guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
