my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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