they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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