can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
