girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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