Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
