he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
