apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
