Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
