Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
