Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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