You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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