I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
