The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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