Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
